Red To Black
by Nil1875
Summary: Sora's world spiraled downward after a summer vacation turned terror. What will happen when he returns to Destiny islands? What will happen when he sees the friend he left behind? And how will he care for his baby sister all alone? Rated MRikuSoraYaoi


Welcome to my first complete, Graphic Yaoi story. Err...I donno. This was inspired by a Fort Minor song, which the story is also titled after. It took me a long time to write but I am proud of it.

** Warnings: **BoyxBoy love, kissing, graphic sex, etc. Reccomended reading age is 17-18, although I don't give a shit. I'm not 18 and I wrote it. shrugs So who cares?

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Kingdom Hearts...Let's just say, it wouldn't exactly be appropriate for the general public, and a game certainly wouldn't be rated E...more like M+++++. LOL KK anyway onto the story!!!!

* * *

Sora was never the brightest kid on Destiny Island. Much the opposite in fact, if you measured him but his elementary school GPA. No Sora was nothing like his cousin Roxas, who was the family's protégée student, having mastered the art of piano playing at the age of 12. By 12 the only thing Sora had mastered, was a double kick flip on his skateboard. When Sora was eight, his greatest hero was his father, a pro skateboarder, and Sora wanted to be just like him. Hence the double kick flip.

It wasn't that Sora was academically stupid, exactly, but he hadn't cared about, well anything, throughout most of his schooling, and hadn't even tried to do more than pass his classes since 5th grade. Not to mention he never really went to high school much. Actually Sora hadn't even been at school at all for most of the last two years but that was beside the point. The point was he hadn't gone back, and wasn't going to. And he actually had a good reason.

When Sora was almost 15, at the end of freshman year, he had been offered a chance to visit his uncle Leon in Hollow Bastion. His favorite place in the world. He thought it would be for only a month, then he was told that he was never going back. He would never see his friends or family again because his family was too poor to keep him. He was gone almost two years, and a week after he finally returned, after running away and going to the city on Destiny proper, and finding a way to get back to Destiny Island, his father left his mother with a baby girl and ten dollars in the jar over the fireplace.

Sora's little half sister, Naminé was the spitting image of his friend Kairi, and was also Kairi's half sister. When he left, Sora's mother had slept with Kairi's father one night when she was drunk from sorrow. She told Sora's father that it was his child that she carried. He even believed her for a while. She had her mother's eyes, and nose. But she was blonde. No one in Sora's father or mother's family, either side, had ever been blonde. Roxas' blond came from his father, who lived on Destiny Proper. Kairi's flaming red hair came from her mother.

Once Sora's dad figured this out, he left. He said if the girl wasn't even his child how could he know if Sora was and why should he care about any of them and their lies?

Sora's mom worked at the local hospital, as a nursing attendant. It paid enough to keep the three of them going, barely. And only if Sora only spent one day a week at home with his mother. He didn't go back to school after his father left. He went back to Destiny Proper for three months. He had been back and forth ever since. 

"Shhh, Naminé, shhhh, it's ok," Sora gently rocked his baby sister, barely five months old.

For once he was home, at his house, back on Destiny Island, and had been awake when she started crying, and taking pity on his tired mother, Sora was trying to calm her down.

"Need some help with that coz?" came a cheeky voice from the doorway.

Sora turned to find Roxas leaning against the door frame. Grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"I'm fine," Sora growled. "What are you doing here? You're still supposed to be…"

"I know I should still be on Destiny Proper with my dad, but I have a key, I came to see how the kid I grew up with and made mud pies with when we were three was doing. I haven't seen you in almost a month…And I heard you were home tonight."

"I'm fine," muttered Sora again. "And where did you hear that? And how did you know I would be here, it's 3 in the morning."

"Here," said Roxas as he pushed himself off the door frame to stand upright and walked over to Sora. He took Naminé and made goo-goo faces at her. She giggled.

"Lets just say I heard it from the streets," said Roxas, leaving the sentence hanging as to exactly who he had gotten his information from, and how.

Sora sighed and sank into the recliner that sat next to the crib.

Roxas was subtle. But not quite subtle enough.

"Why won't she do that for me?" he asked tiredly as he rubbed his eyes. As Naminé giggled and closed her eyes, leaning her head on Roxas' shoulder.

Roxas smiled and put the little girl in her crib. She was almost completely back to sleep already.

"Well frankly? I would expect, because you stink. Literally. When was the last time you had a shower? Or washed that trench coat?"

Sora shook his head. "I have no idea." He let his head slump on his hands, his elbows resting on the arms of the chair. He had taken the trench coat out of one of the closets at Hollow Bastion the night he left and had never let it out of his sight since.

Roxas sighed. "Go take a shower. Give me the coat. I'm washing it."

Sora glared at his cousin for a moment then reluctantly pulling off his coat and handing it over. The coat had been with him since he left Hollow Bastion and it was the one thing that was still familiar and comforting.

Sora let the warm water wash over his head and back, and let himself relax for a few minutes. The water felt good, and he really was dirty. Came with living in the gutter.

Sora sighed and washed his hair, pulling little tangles out of the usually spiked mess. Letting the shampoo wash out of his hair he leaned his forehead against the wall and closed his eyes.

His thoughts went to the other boy he had grown up with, he and Roxas. His name was Riku. He and Sora had been close, closer even than Sora was with his cousin. Riku was, used to be, Sora's best friend ever. They had grown apart when Sora went to Hollow Bastion. Well technically they hadn't ever seen each other again.

Sora and Riku grew up together, played on the beaches together, and found a secret cave on an island that no one knew about. The cave that is, Riku's father owned the island. They had spent many wild sleepovers having pillow fights, and playing pranks on the girls down the street, Selphie and Yuffie. He missed Riku. His sense of humor, and how he always showed off around girls. It had made Sora so jealous whenever Riku purposely made a pass at a girl and it worked. He wasn't jealous in the usual rival sense. He was jealous of whatever girl Riku decided to mess with.

Sora didn't know how long he stood there, his thoughts wandering, but finally there was a knock on the door.

"C'mon Sora. I made you some food," Roxas called softly through the door so not to wake his aunt.

Sora turned off the water and heard his bedroom door close as his cousin left. Drying his hair, he wrapped a towel around his waist and opened the door. He dug through his dresser and pulled out fresh cloths.

He walked into the kitchen five minutes later, dressed and clean, his hair sticking up at all angles.

Roxas took one look at him and laughed.

Sora frowned, then sauntered over to a plate filled with French toast and began to eat.

Roxas grinned at his cousins choice of shirts. It seemed in the months since Sora had been back he had gotten a taste for being quite the sixteen year old punk, along with everything else. His current shirt sported the message "Practice safe sex…Go fuck yourself."

"Nice shirt," said Roxas as he sat across from Sora.

Sora in turn snorted and continued to eat. "What's it to you?"

"Just thinking when I get mad at Axel, I should wear a shirt that says that around him."

This time Sora burst out in gales of laughter. Roxas was practically the universe's definition of gay, and his boyfriend Axel wasn't much better. That would defiantly be something to see…the look on Axel's face when he saw that shirt. Especially on his precious little preppy Roxas.

Roxas grinned, knowing full well what his cousin was thinking.

Sora shook his head and looked down at his plate.

"How's Riku?" he asked suddenly.

Sora didn't know why he directed to conversation at his old friend, but it had seemed right to ask.

"He's…." Roxas paused, then continued cautiously. "His father died a few months ago…he took over the business…it's actually doing better than when Riku's father was in charge."

Sora continued looking at his plate while Roxas told him everything that had happened since he left. Sora had already been away from Hollow Bastion for four months, but he had left again a week after his father left. He'd never stayed on Destiny Island long enough to get the news.

As he already knew, his mother couldn't deal with him going to Hollow Bastion, and had slept with Ed, Kairi's father. Nine months later, Naminé was born. 

When Stan, Sora's father, found out that his wife was pregnant again, he started drinking. No one knew why, only that he never wanted another child, and that with no more work as a pro skateboarder, it was going to be hard to provide for another child, when he couldn't even afford to keep Sora.

Kairi's mother was still teaching in Radiant Garden and didn't know anything about what had happened with Naminé. Kairi knew, and came over as often as she could to help with her little sister. Despite the fact that Kairi hated her parents, she loved her sister, and Sora's mom like she was her own mom. Kairi's father didn't know or care that Kairi helped Naomi, Sora's mom, take care of Naminé.

Naomi's sister Pam, Roxas' mother, had denounced her sister for having a child that wasn't her husbands. Roxas' father tried to help Naomi but she refused to take 'charity' as she called it.

Sora laughed at that and smiled at the door to his mothers room. Just like her. She had never been one to accept help from anyone.

Roxas continued. Riku and his father had been in a car crash eight months ago. Riku hadn't even been scratched, but his father had died. Riku had to fend for himself for a month, before everything came through, naming him the sole benefactor of his fathers rather large estate.

Riku took over the business, exporting fruit off the islands. The small business, which had been floundering under his fathers hand, had grown and was now the biggest export service in the world. And Riku was the richest person on the islands, and he was still a month away from his eighteenth birthday.

Sora's mind flitted to a newspaper article he had seen three months before in a trash can. The headline had read **"Namoki Fruits: The biggest export service in the world, thanks to new management."** So that had been Riku…

From the room in the back of the house Naminé began to cry again.

Leaving Sora to process everything that he had told him Roxas went to calm the baby. He returned a moment later with a bundle in his arms and opened the fridge.

"She's hungry," he muttered as he warmed up the bottle.

Sora pulled himself out of his stupor and looked at his sister. He really did love her. He just wasn't good with kids.

"Thanks Rox," he sighed as he leaned back in his chair and put his hands behind his head.

Roxas smiled. "No problem Sor. It's what family's for."

Sora sighed and nodded. "I have to go…" he said.

Roxas nodded. "I know. I wish you wouldn't but I know. Your coat's in the dryer."

"Thanks."

"Roxas?"

"What Sora?

"How did you know I was here?"

Roxas frowned a little and looked at the floor. "I heard it from someone."

"The only person I told was Hayner and he wouldn't have told you. You're not…"

Roxas shifted uncomfortably and Sora nodded, his earlier suspicion confirmed. "You're running with the gang," he said in an accusatory voice.

Roxas slowly nodded, sadness in his eyes.

"Axel?" Sora questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah," said Roxas quietly, looking at the floor.

"Figured." Sora shook his head and retrieved his coat, heading for the door.

He paused halfway out the door and spoke over his shoulder. "Be careful Rox. If you get in too deep, just for Axel, you'll never get out. Don't forget who you are." he turned and closed the door behind him. Roxas watched at the front window as Sora vanished into the night.

"There goes your brother again Nami. You need to learn to talk fast and tell him to stop being such an idiot."

Naminé made gurgling sounds with big blue eyes turned on her big cousin.

"Yeah I know…I shouldn't be talking."

"Hello?"

"Hayner was right. He's here. I think he's on his way…"

"…thanks Roxas." The cell phone clicked shut.

Sora looked up at Riku's house. It wasn't a house really. More like a mansion. And it was huge. Sora smiled, remembering when they explored all the 'haunted' rooms in the mansion when they were little. Riku always protected him from things like flapping curtains and shadows in the closet. The two of them would sit on Riku's king sized bed and watch scary movies every year on Halloween, Riku's birthday, and cower under the covers together every time. Even when they were ten and twelve they still did it.

Sora turned and slipped away from the gate. He headed into the city, back to the hole-in-the-wall notch he had claimed as his home among the street urchins. He decided not to go back to school the next week as he had planned. Or ever again.

As he pulled up the collar of the coat, and let the familiar weight of the cloth resting on his neck calm him, he shook away the feeling that he was being watched.

He was, in fact, being watched from the third window up, on the far left of the house. Riku's room.

Riku watched in silence as his friend looked up at the house and then turned, vanishing into the night like a stray cat. Grabbing a jacket, Riku followed him.

Five blocks from Riku's house, Sora looked behind him for the seventh time. He saw nothing, just as before, be he couldn't shake the feeling, that had once more returned, that he was being followed.

Ducking into an alleyway Sora waited. Soon a black coated figure walked past quietly. His hood was up, and his breathing was hushed.

Sora crouched. Right when the figure passed him Sora pounced and knocked the figure to the ground. Quickly he pinned him down and ripped his hood off.

"Why are you following me???" he shouted at the figure as he pulled at the black cloth. "Who are…" Sora stopped and there was a long pause as he took in the face he was looking at.

"...Riku?"

The hood had fallen, to reveal silver hair and aqua eyes, and a face, graced, for the first time ever, with slight fear, and another, as yet unknown, emotion.

Sora froze. For a moment all the two could do was gaze into each others eyes. Sora pushed back a sudden and strange urge to simply lean down and kiss the boy beneath him that had once been his best friend. He had missed him so much.

"Sora?"

The spell was broken. Sora jumped and scuttled away from his one time friend and stood up, ready to run.

"No Sora! Don't go!" Riku almost shouted as Sora made for the corner of the street, reaching out, grasping the air as if he could stop him.

The younger boy stopped reluctantly and turned, his whole body tense and ready to flee.

"Sora. You…why are you running?" asked Riku as he carefully stood up, not daring to come any closer to Sora in case he spooked him.

"Why shouldn't I? We're not friends anymore Riku," he said.

"That's not what I think Sora. I'm still your friend. I never forgot about you…" Riku took a cautious step forward. Sora didn't move.

"I've been gone for two and a half years Riku…you should have forgotten me by now."

"Sora…I could never forget you…we grew up together…what's happened to you?"

"Life Riku, life. And it's a bitch." Sora turned and bolted.

He didn't get fifteen feet before he was tackled to the ground. Moments later he found himself on his back with a weight on his stomach and his wrists pinned by his head.

"Stop running from me Sora!!! I want to help you!" Riku yelled at the boy pinned beneath him as he struggled to get free.

Tears threatened to fall from Riku's eyes. How had this happened to Sora? He was the happiest person Riku had ever known. They had so much fun together when they were young. Now…Sora had changed when he went to Hollow Bastion. Now that he was back…Riku had talked to Roxas, who told him everything Sora had been doing on the streets in the four months since he had come back. He had gone to Destiny Proper and gotten into a gang. He did drugs, and drank, and all the shit like that. Riku only knew the reason for the sunken dead look in his friends eyes, because Roxas told him why. And Roxas only knew because Axel was in the same gang Sora had been. At first anyway, but that was another story.

Riku's mind returned to the present when Sora tried, once again, to dislodge the weight on his midsection.

"Sora! I want to help you!" Riku said again.

"I don't want your help. Let me GO!!!" Sora squirmed, trying to get free to no avail.

Riku pressed himself against Sora, pinning him down and preventing him from moving. Neither one noticed the slightly red hue that appeared on Sora's cheeks.

"You listen to me damn it!" Riku nearly shouted. "You are my best friend in the world. Do you know how much I worried about you when you left? Everyone! We all worried. I didn't come out of my room for a month, just because it was the last place I saw you. My father told me I was crazy. I wasn't crazy. I was sad and scared for you. And I'm scared for you again. What have you done to yourself? How could you join a GANG???"

Sora stilled and looked up at his friend and saw the look in his eyes. Riku was scared. He was the most scared that Sora had ever seen. And that scared Sora.

"How do you know about that? DOES EVERYONE FUCKING KNOW ABOUT THAT!?!?!?" Sora shouted in frustration, gazing at Riku with a pronounced frown on his face. Rain began to fall and ran down Riku's soft silver hair, letting small droplets fall onto Sora's face.

"Roxas told me. He thought I should know," Riku whispered. "Considering…" He almost finished his thought but stopped. Instead he whispered, "Considering I care about what happens to you."

Sora could feel Riku's breath tickle his face, which wasn't surprising considering their faces were mere inches apart.

"Why won't you let me help you Sora?" came the gentle whisper against Sora's ear, as soft lips brushed against his own.

The rain continued to fall softly and at this point it was impossible to see the tears that streamed from Riku's eyes. Sora never knew his friend cried about him that night. He only wanted to get away. Wanted to get away from the boy that cared about him so much, the boy who was currently kissing him softly. Sora was afraid that he was just trying to hurt him, like almost everyone else in Sora's life had done, that it actually mattered to him too.

"I don't want your pity Riku," he muttered as he broke the soft kiss, with some reluctance.

With a grunt he pushed Riku off of him. Getting to his feet he knew Riku wouldn't follow him this time. Turning down the street towards the place where he lived he walked away.

"Don't bother following me Riku. Please don't," he said quietly as he walked away, leaving Riku in the rain staring after his friend.

"Why won't you let me love you?"

Sora fell onto his makeshift bed with a sigh. Why was it happening again? As far as Sora could tell, everyone that should have cared about him didn't. His aunt, his father, his uncle. His grandparents were dead. He knew his mother cared about him, but she didn't really count. He knew Roxas cared about him, and that his cousin was just worried about him most of the time when he nagged at him to go home. Roxas was the only one Sora had been in contact with when he left and when he came back. He had never seen anyone else. Never seen Riku. 

Riku. Sora didn't know how he felt about the fact that Riku was so openly worried about him. Two, almost three years now had passed, Riku should have moved on. Sora had accepted a long time ago that he would have been forgotten by his friend and that he would have to live without him. The fact that Riku never forgot him, or let him go, rattled Sora. He had prepared himself for never seeing Riku again. Not coming back and almost kissing him. Then kissing him anyway when Riku had initiated it.

Kissing him. 'Come on,' Sora thought to himself. 'I'm not gay…at least not the last time I checked.' 'Yeah?' sneered a voice in his head. 'Then why did you want to kiss Riku the day you left too…' Sora blanched. He had forgotten about that. Riku had looked so sad when Sora told him he was leaving for a whole month. Sora had wanted to simply lean over and kiss the frown off his beautiful lips.

Sora sighed and rolled over on his bed, staring at a picture of him and Riku and Kairi and Roxas, when they were all 8 and in Riku's case 9. They had all been so happy then, so carefree.

His mind raced with thoughts as he tried to sleep. Thoughts of Riku and of happier times, and what he should to.

Maybe…he should at least give Riku a chance to know what happened. And to confront him about why he never wrote or called him at Hollow Bastion as they had promised. He owed himself that. And after all Riku had done for him when they were children…he wanted to know what Sora had been through to become as cold as he was. He needed to know. Sora decided he'd go as soon as he woke up.

The gate swung open as Sora approached Riku's house.

It was the next evening and Sora was ready to explain everything. He had fallen into a fitful sleep at dawn and risen with the sunset.

As Sora approached the steps the door swung open. Ascending the stairs Sora cautiously walked through the door. It swung shut behind him silently, revealing a silver haired seventeen year old. His gaze was directed at the floor instead of his guest.

"I was hoping you'd come Sora. I'm sorry about last night, I'm sorry I yelled at you like that. I…need to explain what's happened to me, over the last two years."

"I…I owe you an explanation too, Riku." Sora gave his friend a hesitant smile and found himself suddenly pulled into a tight hug.

"Thank you," Riku whispered. "For not pushing me away again."

Sora slowly returned the hug, carefully wrapping his arms around Riku's waist.

"I missed you Sora, so much."

Sora buried his face in Riku's neck and breathed in his unique smell. "I missed you too Riku," Sora sighed and closed his eyes, simply enjoying being held so close to his friend. He could hear Riku's heartbeat in his chest and found it comforting to find it seemed to be racing as fast as his own. Sora jumped a little as he felt Riku kiss his hair.

"I've got a question," giggled Sora, pulled back slightly to look in his friends eyes.

"Shoot," said Riku smiling.

"Are you flaming gay?" Sora asked. The boyish joking twinkle had returned to his eyes.

Riku let go of him laughing and ruffled his hair. "That's something I'm not ready to tell you, weather I am or not." On a more serious note he continued. "Now I do believe we both have some explaining to do."

The twinkle vanished from Sora's eyes but he nodded still smiling slightly, though now it had become graced with a trace of sadness, and followed Riku upstairs to one of the parlor type rooms, about four doors away from Riku's room.

Sora sunk into a chair by the unlit fireplace, and pulled his legs up to his chest, tucking his feet under him. He had left his shoes but the door. Riku was barefoot, like he pretty much always was whenever Sora had seen him at home.

Closing the door, said barefoot teen came to sit in the chair opposite Sora's.

"So what happened?" Riku asked.

"Well," Sora began then sat contemplating how to continue. "My mom told me, that I was spending a month with my uncle Leon, in Hollow Bastion. It was just supposed to be a summer trip. Then Leon, he told me…that I could never go back, and that my parents didn't want me."

Anger boiled in the pit of Riku's stomach at hearing this. How could anyone not want Sora?

The aforementioned boy continued his story, not seeing the rage that flitted across his friends face. "He…I…He wasn't as nice as I remembered him. Nowhere near. He…beat me. And starved me…"

"Where?"

"What?"

"Were did he hit you?"

Sora shifted in his chair then slowly stood up and slid his arms out of his trench coat, laying it over the back of his chair. Turning his back to Riku he pulled up the hem of his shirt.

Crisscrossed over his back were almost fifty scars. Some were paler than others and some were barely visible, but they were there.

Riku hissed at the thought of how much it must have hurt as his hand extended to trace the most prominent scar, directly across Sora's spine from his left shoulder to his right hip.

Sora shivered and his eyes closed at the soft touch. Sighing he pulled his shirt down when he felt Riku's hand leave his back. He turned and sunk back into his chair, resuming his earlier position.

"Sora…" Riku looked at his boyhood friend with concern.

Sora just shrugged. "What happened, happened. Nothing I can do about it now…"

Riku slumped back in his chair and sighed. "Was there….more?" he asked quietly, hoping to prompt Sora to continue.

Sora nodded and he did continue. And it only got worse.

"I hid most of the time. Leon lived in the big castle, so there was always a place to hide. The servants took pity on me some of the time and gave me food, and medicine for my wounds, but essentially I was a prisoner." Sora paused for a moment, and swallowed. "I wasn't allowed near the phone after about three months, about when he told me he started getting stricter. And more…vicious and violent. By that time I hadn't heard from you so I didn't really care anyway…"

"Sora about that…my dad…he grounded me for a month for asking if I could call you then never let me near a phone again. By the time I finally could, by the time he died…I figured you would have forgotten me, then I found out you were gone anyway. That you had gotten away."

Sora nodded. "Roxas told you. And Axel told him. Stupid, redheaded, pyromaniac piece of shit." His eyes were fogged and it seemed he was just holding back tears.

"I could never forget you. I've missed you so fucking much Riku. You were all I thought about. I never had any friends while I was there, even though there were children in the castle. I thought after a year and a half, that you would have forgotten about me completely. What's the point of remembering a childhood friend that's never coming back? That's what I thought you must think. That's why I never came looking for you. I didn't think you would be here for me…"

By know tears were streaming down Sora's cheeks as he cried into his knees.

Riku got up and walked across the short distance to kneel in front of Sora's chair. He pulled at Sora's ankles gently until he let his feet fall to the floor then reached up and wiped away the tears with his thumb, cupping Sora's cheek lovingly.

"Oh Sora don't cry. I've always been here, and I always will be. No one would tell me where you were after you got away, no one knew how to contact you. I couldn't find you. I've tried for so long to find you. Then…Roxas came to me and told me some of what happened… But I'm here for you know. Whenever you need me, I'm here to protect you."

Sora gave Riku a quizzical look. The silver haired youth just chuckled, and rubbed his thumb over Sora's cheek with a smile that turned into a slightly mischievous grin.

"And to answer your earlier question Sora," Riku whispered huskily as he drew closer to the younger boy's face. "Yes I'm flaming gay. And I'm flaming gay for you, no one else."

Sora grinned and buried his hands in Riku's silver locks. "Do you know how crony that sounds?" he asked with a laugh.

"Do I look like I give a shit?" Riku asked as his already half lidded eyes slid shut and he captured Sora's lips with his own.

Sora gave a small sigh and pilled Riku closer, returning the gentle kiss. Riku's other hand rested on Sora's hip, and he ran his tongue over the smaller boy's bottom lip, silently asking for entrance. Sora complied and Riku slipped his tongue inside, and began to explore the hot cavern.

Sora whimpered and pushed his tongue against Riku's, beginning a battle for dominance. He felt Riku chuckle into his mouth, and it only made his resolve stronger to finally beat Riku at something.

A thought came to his mind and Sora stopped kissing Riku all together. Puzzled Riku broke the kiss and drew back to look at Sora.

Given his chance Sora pounced, knocking Riku to the carpet and sitting on him, like he had the night before. He smirked and kissed Riku softly.

"Gotcha," he whispered, smiling against Riku's lips.

Riku smiled and relaxed, letting himself sink into the lush carpet, and simply enjoyed the feel of Sora's lips against his own. He jumped a little when he felt Sora's hands slide under his shirt and come up to gently pinch his nipples.

Riku chuckled as Sora broke their kiss and began to trail kisses down Riku's jaw and neck, stopping to suck on the hollow by the older boy's collarbone.

"Didn't know you were one to take the initiative Sora," he laughed. It was a laugh that quickly turned into a gasp as Sora bit his neck, then quickly pulled off his shirt, then moved to do the same.

Sora pressed his bare chest to Riku's, ignoring the comment completely, then began licking, sucking and biting a path down to Riku's nipples and stomach, eliciting several moans of pleasure from the boy beneath him. Only when Riku was writhing and panting on the floor, did Sora stop his ministrations to answer Riku's question.

"I take initiative to see you like this Riku." Sora gave a smirk that would well have rivaled Riku's, had they been in a state of mind to think about it. "It's unbelievably hot."

Riku moaned again as Sora delved lower on his chest and licked the taunt flesh right above his waistline. Riku dug his hands into Sora's hair and roughly pulled him up to kiss him. Tongues tangled and they fought for dominance once again. Riku hissed as Sora's hand trailed lower on his stomach and along the front of his shorts to gently squeeze his growing erection. With a growl like a wild animal Riku threw his leg over Sora's hip and rolled them, reversing their position.

Sora grinned into the kiss and ground his hips against Riku's, only to have his wrists pinned over his head, and Riku's whole body pressed against him, preventing him from moving.

Sora's wicked grin widened. "Stupid Riku, very stupid," he whispered against Riku's mouth, and moved against him again. Both boys groaned and reflexively moved again.

"Sora…"

"Riku…" Sora's eyes danced as he watched Riku's face.

"You have no idea how much I'm restraining myself right now," growled Riku, before ground his hips against Sora's.

Sora gasped and arched his back. He should have confided in Riku a long time ago if it was always this fun. Smiling he freed one hand and curled it behind Riku's head pulling him close.

Riku's closed his eyes as he felt Sora's breath against his ear. He was having a very hard time keeping himself from simply ravaging the boy beneath him. 

"Then don't restrain yourself, Riku." This simple statement was followed by a moment of silence, in which both boy simply looked at each other. Riku's resolve was broken by the simple fact that Sora's hand had found it way inside his pants and had began stroking him gently. Riku growled softly and moved against Sora's hand. Sora laughed and pulled back his hand, kissing Riku again, when he made a noise that was akin to a whine at the loss of contact.

Grinning like a Cheshire cat, Sora moved Riku onto his back and made quick work of his pants. Sora paused to give Riku and appreciative look as he lay beneath him on the carpet completely naked and vulnerable.

With a devilish smirk Sora kissed his new lover, then kissed his way down to Riku's hips. He laughed against Riku's pale flesh when the older boy moaned. With a small smirk Sora bent and ran his tongue along the underside of Riku's manhood.

Riku groaned and arched his hips off the rug. Sora grabbed his hips and held him down, as he took Riku's tip in his mouth and sucked softly.

"Sora," Riku moaned as he ran his hands over said boys shoulders and gripped his hair softly.

Sora slowly took more of Riku into his mouth and continued to suck softly. Soar took all of Riku into his mouth and throat, and began to bob his head up and down sucking more and more roughly every time he pulled away.

Riku was close to his climax and Sora wrapped his hand around Riku's member and matched his strokes in time to every gentle suck he gave to the head. Riku threw back his head and groaned, coming in Sora's waiting mouth.

Spent and panting Riku sagged onto the soft carpet and pulled Sora up to lay on his chest. Sora smiled and planted a kiss on his lovers soft lips. Riku moaned into his mouth and flipped them.

"My turn," he said wickedly as he slid down Sora's lithe body.

Riku took Sora in his mouth and began to suck softly on his head. Sora moaned and buried his hands in Riku's hair. Riku in turn repeated the same treatment Sora had just given him until he could hardly stand it.

"Riku," moaned Sora. "Please…I'm so close…"

Riku smiled and let his teeth scrap gently over Sora's length. Sora cried out at the feeling and Riku took him into his mouth completely, sucking roughly, until Sora screamed his name. Riku swallowed greedily, licking up every drop of Sora's sweet juices.

Finished, Riku crawled up Sora's body to kiss him. Sora moaned at the taste of himself on Riku's lips.

"Wow Riku, that was…amazing…" Sora panted, smiling up at Riku.

Riku smirked evilly and leaned down, pressing his body against Sora's making the latter blush somewhat. Leaning close Riku chuckled and whispered in his ear.

"You think that was amazing Sora? Just wait, I'm not even close to being done with you yet."

He drew back to see the look of surprise mingled with slight curiosity on Sora's face, before capturing his mouth in a rough kiss. Sora gasped against Riku's mouth as he felt a pressure against his opening. He could feel himself getting hard again, simply from the contact.

Apparently Riku could feel it to, because he grinned and stood up. In one quick movement he scooped Sora up and carried him down the hall to the bedroom where they had spent so many nights watching horror movies, and hiding under the covers.

"You redecorated," Sora commented as Riku kicked the door shut behind him. The room was all shades of dark blue instead of the former ocean colors.

Riku laughed and kissed the boy in his arms. Lips still locked, he set Sora down on the bed and lay next to him, his hand wandering over the boy's stomach, and ghosting across his thigh to his ass. Sora giggle when Riku gave it a gentle squeeze.

"You have a really cute ass Sora," said Riku, as he laid kisses all over Sora's face, and moved his hand back between the boy's legs.

"Rikiiiiiiiiii," Sora's words were turned into a hiss as he felt a finger slip inside of him. His body didn't know what to make of the new sensation and Sora wriggled around, trying to adjust.

Another finger joined the first one and Riku curled his fingers, knowing he hit the exact spot he aimed for when Sora screamed and grabbed his shoulders. Riku moved his fingers around, hitting the same spot again and Sora whimpered, panting. Riku added a third finger and curled them, making Sora scream again, only louder.

Withdrawing his fingers Riku moved to lay between Sora's legs, which came up to wrap around his waist, and placed his tip at Sora's opening.

"This is going to hurt Sora," whispered Riku.

Sora groaned and pulled Riku closer. "I don't care," he said as he bit Riku's ear softly. He gasped a little and bit down harder on Riku's ear when he felt him begin to push inside of him. It did hurt. A lot.

Sora fell back onto the pillows and closed his eyes, biting his lip. Riku intertwined their fingers and gave Sora a moment to adjust before continuing to push inside of him. Sora tensed and bit his lip harder, drawing blood. Riku didn't stop but he leaned down and kissed Sora, drawing his bleeding lip into his mouth and gently sucking it and licking it clean.

When he was fully inside Sora, Riku paused and let him adjust. After a few moments a feral growl came from Sora.

"Riku damn it. Move."

Hiding his smirk in a kiss, Riku slowly pulled out, almost fully then just as slowly pushed himself back in. He continued so thrust agonizingly slowly until Sora bucked his hips, impatient with Riku's chosen pace. His hands ran down Riku's back, leaving fingernail marks and small cuts, to grip his ass and pull him closer.

"Faster. Harder," growled Sora roughly.

Riku obliged. Finally letting go of his restraint, Riku began to move faster, angling himself so that he would make Sora scream with every thrust.

Sora moved his hips in time to Riku's, meeting him every time. Sora couldn't keep the noise he was making in his throat as he moaned and gave small screams when Riku hit his sweet spot.

"Harder," he moaned, bucking his hips.

Riku gave way to wild abandon pounded into Sora as hard as he could. Soon both of them were screaming and seeing stars exploding behind their eyes.

Riku collapsed next to Sora, panting, and smiling. Sora looked over at his best friend turned lover and smile.

"Sora." Riku ran a hand through Sora's hair and let it rest at the base of his neck.

"Riku?"

"Sora I love you."

Sora's eyes lit up and he cuddled close to Riku, tucking his head under the older boy's chin. "I love you too Riku. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

"So am I," breathed Riku as they fell into a deep slumber in each others arms.

When Sora awoke in the morning he was alone. He gazed up at the canopy above the bed, remembering the wonderful night before. He sat up a little to find his cloths neatly folded at the end of the bed.

Grinning he went into the adjoining bathroom for a quick shower. When he came out with a towel around his waist, the bedroom door was ajar and he heard voices. Stepping closer he heard a voice he hadn't heard in years and soon wished he hadn't.

"So when are you gonna tell Sora about the wedding?"

"You're so funny Yuffie, that's what I love about you the most. Over everything else I love about you, that has to be my favorite."

Sora bit his lip and turned away from the door. He grabbed his cloths and dressed, then wrenched open the door and practically ran down the stairs past Riku and Yuffie.

"Sora!" Riku shouted and followed him. He caught him at the front door. "Where are you going?"

"Let go of me Riku."

"Sora what?"

"You said you loved me last night." Sora looked at Riku with hate brimming in his eyes. He glanced over at Yuffie who stood halfway up the stairs. "You lied." He wrenched his arm out of Riku's grasp and ran.

"No Sora! What you heard wasn't what it sounded like!"

"Save it for someone who cares you fucking prick!" Sora shouted from the gate, tears streaming down his face.

He ran thought the streets until he lost his pursuer, then finally returned to his hovel and cried himself to sleep. He awoke later with a plan already formed.

Sora stuffed the few things he owned into his backpack and ran to the docks boarding the last fairy for Destiny Proper of the night.

He didn't see Riku run to the edge of the dock, or hear him shout his name over and over.

Sora picked up the phone in his mothers apartment, the third time it rang. He had returned from Destiny Proper the night before the see her, and Naminé. He'd been gone almost two months, ever since what had happened with Riku. After a while he had almost forgotten. Almost, but he could never really forget.

"Hello?"

"Sora Kutani?" a female voice asked over the phone.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry to inform you that your mother has been involved in an accident. Would you please come to Mercy hospital as soon as possible? Her condition is not good."

Sora was silent for a long moment. "Yes. Yes I'll come. Thank you." He hung up the phone and dialed Roxas.

"Yo!"

"Axel, I need to talk to Roxas."

"Sora, buddy! He's right here."

"Hello?"

"Rox, I need a ride. It's my mom…she's at the hospital."

"I'll be right there."

Sora hung up the phone and pulled on his coat. He felt almost numb. If his mom died, how could he take care of Naminé? He didn't know anything about babies. And…even though they weren't really very close anymore…she was his mother…he'd miss her. I just can't win can I? he thought as Roxas' car pulled up in the driveway.

"I'm here to see Naomi Kutani. I'm her son," Sora told the receptionist.

"Room 325."

"Thank you."

Roxas waited while Sora went in to see his mother.

She was lying on her back, surrounded by wires and monitors. A doctor was turning off all but the heart monitor.

"Is she?" Sora didn't need to finish his sentence.

The doctor shook his head slightly. "She's not going to make it. I'm sorry." he left the room to give them a moment alone.

Sora walked over to his mom and took her hand.

"I love you mom," whispered Sora, tears coming to his eyes as he held his mothers hand for the first time in almost three years.

"That's all I ever wanted to hear again sweetheart." Her eyes fluttered open. "I love you Sora. Take care of Naminé for me?"

"Sure mom, I promise."

Naomi smiled at her son one last time and closed her eyes forever. Sora smiled and pressed a kiss to her forehead. She looked so peaceful. Sora shook his head, refusing to cry. It was her time. He could tell. She could rest. Sadly he let go of her hand and left.

"What are you gonna do now?" Roxas asked later, out in the hospital lobby, as Sora was finishing with the paperwork.

"Take care of Naminé. Make sure she has a home."

Roxas laughed. "No offence bro, but there is no way in hell you're gonna be able to take care of her by yourself."

"I know." Sora handed over the last clipboard he had been writing on and stood. "That's why you're helping me."

"Wha, Me? I can't, I have a life! And, and…"

"Roxas you owe me. And if you don't want your mom to know about the gang and Axel, then you'll help me." Sora began to walk out of the hospital to Roxas' car.

"That's blackmail." Roxas followed him.

"I know. I don't care. I need help with this."

"Sora. Maybe you should ask…"

Sora stopped and spun to face his cousin. "Ask who? Riku? No."

"Sora…"

"No Roxas, stop. Just don't. I need you to help me take care of her. I'll get a job, and then I'll be able to do it. But I need your help to start with and..."

"Sora!"

Sora looked away from Roxas, across the parking lot. His eyes met with a pair of violet-blue orbs.

"Kairi…"

Kairi came running through the parked cars to throw her arms around Sora in a hug.

"You're ok," she sniffed. "You came back."

Sora returned the hug and smiled a little through his own tears. "Yeah I did. Sorry I was gone so long."

Sora looked her up and down. She had grown a lot and her hair was…not as blindingly red. She had done something to tone it down, if you didn't count the purple highlights. She was also clad in almost all black, with the acceptation of her shoes and fingerless gloves, which were pink. She sported dark makeup and several earrings. She also wore the bat charm necklace that Sora had given her for Halloween when they were seven.

"Wow Kai, you look great. Decided to go Goth after all huh?"

Kairi nodded then looked at the ground for a moment.

"Sora, I heard about the accident. I'm sorry."

Sora nodded as he regarded his lifetime friend. "I'm alright for now. Don't be sorry."

Kairi smiled. She had no idea what had happened in the last two years. Sora didn't want to tell her and burden her with it.

"Can I help with taking care of my sister?" Kairi asked somewhat shyly.

Sora grinned. "You can start by teaching me what round of crying means what, and how to change a diaper."

All three of them laughed and together they headed away from the hospital to pick up Naminé from her baby sitter. It was time to teach Sora a few things about eight month old children.

"I gotta head home. Kairi said she'd come over with a movie later."

Sora nodded and Roxas opened the door.

The last three weeks had gone smoothly, and Sora was well on the way to being able to look after Naminé on his own, when he wasn't working as a bus boy at a local restaurant. His mother's funeral had gone smoothly, though Sora hadn't spoken to Riku, who had attended at Kairi's request.

Halfway over the threshold Roxas paused and turned back.

"Hey Sora, I thought you should know….Riku…"

"What about him?" Sora asked icily. What was his cousin? A mind reader?

"He's gone. He moved to Destiny Proper to manage the business."

Sora looked at his cousin. "Whatever."

Roxas shook his head and left Sora alone to ponder the news. Sora decided that Riku wasn't worth it and quite successfully didn't think about him for a week. He convinced himself that he didn't care anymore. That he didn't love the silver haired boy. That he wouldn't die if something happened to him. And so he stopped thinking about him completely.

Then the day before Halloween that changed when he flipped on the TV, and sat on the couch doing a crossword puzzle.  
**  
"In other news, the head of Namoki fruit exports, Riku Namoki,"**

Sora's head snapped up to the television screen.  
**  
"Was involved in a automobile accident this morning when his car jumped a rail and went off of the Destiny Central bridge. Witnesses say they saw his car veer out of the road, jump the rail and hit the water at full speed. His car was retrieved from the water, however it sustained severe damage and the windshield was gone. Namoki who would have celebrated his 18th birthday tomorrow, is missing, and presumed to be dead."  
**  
"Missing, presumed dead."

Sora's world crashed to a halt.

Dead. Riku was…Dead? It couldn't be. It wasn't possible.

Sora stared mutely at the door when the doorbell rang not seconds later. Slowly he got up and walked to the door, and pulled it open.

"Special delivery for Sora Kutani?"

"That's me."

"Here you go." The man handed Sora a letter. It was addressed in Riku's handwriting.

Sora sat at the kitchen table and stared at the letter. Finally, after much debate, and dread at what it would say, he opened it and began to read.  
_  
My dearest Sora,_

I want to explain what happened that day at my house. Yuffie is my cousin. The wedding she was referring to was hers and Tidus'. They plan to marry in Hollow Bastion next month. Tidus asked me to tell you because he won't be back to the island. He also wanted to invite you, if you would come.

Please understand that I love you. I have loved you, since I knew what love was, and I will always love you no matter what happens.

I'm sorry that you heard that, and I'm sorry you didn't give me the chance to explain. I'm sorry I had to leave right when you got back but I'll come back to you. I promise.

I love you Sora. Don't you dare forget it. You're my light, I can't live without you. If you can't forgive me then…I don't know what I would do. Please Sora…please forgive me.

All my love,  
Riku.

And Sora…I'm sorry about your mother. I didn't get the chance to express my condolences the her funeral.

Sora simply stared at the letter, then read it again. Riku really did love him. How could he have been so stupid? Riku had loved him, and he had been a blind fool. Now Riku was dead. There was nothing left to live for. Sora curled up in the corner of the living room and cried until all his tears dried up, clutching the letter to his heart.

"Hello?"

"Kairi the news…"

"I saw it Roxas. I'm on my way there."

"Alright I'll meet you there."

"Sora?" Roxas called as he opened the door. Hearing a sob from the living room he looked in to see his cousin huddled in the corner.

"Sora! Are you ok?"

Roxas ran to his cousin and shook him by the shoulder, making him look up at him. Sora just shook his head as he let his tears to continue.

"He…he killed himself," Sora sniffed. "Read this."

Roxas took the tear-stained letter and read it. It sounded bad.

"No Sora, he wouldn't."

"I pushed him away, and he killed himself. It's all my fault."

"Sora? Roxas?"

"In here Kai," called Roxas as he looked at his cousin with concern. "Read this." He passed Kairi the letter.

She gasped as she read. "Sora…"

"It's all my fault," sobbed Sora.

Kairi began to cry as she realized on of her best friends really was gone, and her other best friend blamed himself for something he had no control or fault over.

"That's enough Sora," she snapped as she stomped her foot on the ground. "Roxas get him upstairs. He needs to sleep."

Roxas nodded and practically dragged Sora up the stairs and put him in his bed and left him with silent tears running down his face.

When Roxas returned to the kitchen he found Kairi with her head buried in her arms, sobbing.

"Kai…"

"I can't believe he's gone."

"Kai they didn't fine his body. He may still be alive."

"And if he's not?" snapped Kairi.

Roxas looked at the floor. He didn't have an answer. Just then the phone rang. The two looked at each other then Roxas picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"I need to talk to Sora."

"Who is this?"

There was a pause on the other end of the phone.

"I need to tell him I love him."

There was a sharp intake of breath as Roxas dropped the phone on the table and ran upstairs as fast has he could. He threw open the door to Sora's room to have his sudden fear confirmed. Sora was gone. The window was open and the breeze was blowing the curtains. Ripping open the bedside draw, Roxas found that the knife that he had given Sora three years ago was gone.

Roxas rushed back to the phone. The entire escapade had taken about 40 seconds and Kairi was still looking at the phone in bewilderment, having never picked it up to see who it was.

Roxas grabbed the phone from where he had dropped it and brought it to his ear.

"Riku, he's gone. And he took the knife I gave him. I think he…"

"I'll find him."

The line disconnected and Roxas looked at Kairi who was sitting in a state of shock.

"…He's alive," she said, barely an audibly whisper.

Sora returned to the ally where he had hidden right before he had seen Riku again and sat against the wall. Tears welled up in his eyes again and he sniffed, and flicked away his fourth cigarette. He drained his third small bottle of vodka and threw it against the wall.

"I'm so sorry Riku. I'm sorry I pushed you away. I'm sorry I didn't listen."

He slowly rolled up his sleeve.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you I loved you before I left. I'm sorry any of this had to happen.

Sora closed his eyes and let the sharp blade cut into his flesh.

A block away Riku stiffened.

"SORA DON'T!!!" he shouted into the night.

Sora heard a muffled shout and looked out of the ally as the blood spilled out of his arm. He thought he had heard Riku shouting. Everything was red. All around him. Then at the end of the ally, came a boy with silver hair. Sora saw him right before everything went black.

Riku felt Sora about to cut himself and shouted for him to stop. He could practically feel himself attached to Sora, and invisible cord leading him to the younger boy. As he sprinted around the corner into the ally where they had met again he stopped dead at the sight before him.

A black lump slid down the wall and lay huddled between a wall and a crate at the end of the ally. One small hand protruded from the trench coat that was wrapped around a lean and frail body. The scent of cigarette smoke, blood and alcohol came from the coat and the person inside it. The hand and coat sleeve were stained red from the blood that seeped from a long gash on a covered arm.

Riku felt for a pulse and found one, weaker than he thought was possible. Tears came to his eyes as he lifted the small, too-light body and cradled it to his chest.

"Oh Sora, how did I let this happen to you? I'm so fucking sorry. I love you so much. "

Riku carried Sora all the way back to his house, and up to his room. He lay Sora on his bed and pulled off his trench coat. Carefully he bandaged Sora's arm, to keep him from losing anymore blood. Sora's heartbeat was weak. As Riku tucked him under the deep blue comforter that they had laid on together, what seemed like years ago, Sora groaned and his eyes fluttered open.

"Riku?"

"I'm here Sora," Riku whispered as he kneeled by the bed and gripped Sora's hand.

"You're dead."

"No…"

"Am I dead?"

"Sora." Riku took Sora's hand and held it against his cheek, kissing the inside of his palm. "I'm real. I'm right here. I'm sorry."

"No. You're dead. I saw it on the news. Then your letter…that's why I cut myself. I couldn't live without you. I wanted to die. I couldn't live with the fact that…I thought you killed yourself. Because of me. "

Riku could tell that Sora wasn't thinking straight to he simply stroked the boy's hair. Sora's eyes closed again.

"Sleep Sora. You'll feel better when you wake up, and I'll explain everything."

"Mmmm…." Sora was fast asleep.

Riku smiled and placed a small kiss on the sleeping boy's forehead. "I love you Sora, please be alright."

When Sora woke up a few hours later, he opened his eyes slowly and tried to bring his surroundings into focus. He blinked a few times and a familiar blue canopy, embroidered with silver stars came into view. He squeezed his eyes shut and winced against the pain in his left arm.

Slowly, favoring his injured arm, he sat up. He remembered waking up for a few minutes and he had been…in Riku's arms. And now he was in Riku's bed. Memories of that one night of passion a few months back flashed through Sora's head, and tears began to leak from his eyes.

Expecting absolutely nothing, Sora opened his eyes slowly. Across the room, slouched in the old blue armchair, was Riku.

"Riku?" Sora's voice cracked and the tears flooded his eyes and face.

Riku jolted awake and seeing Sora sitting up, staring at him, crying, he stood quickly and rushed over to the bed.

"Sora! Are you okay?" he asked as he sat on the bed.

Sora backed away a little, to the far corner of the bed. "Are you…a ghost?"

Riku pulled back his hand, which had been reaching for Sora. "No Sora. I'm alive. I'm real. Look." Riku extended his hand.

Sora pulled back afraid to touch him in case it was a dream.

"Trust me."

Sora looked into the aqua eyes and slowly extended his hand. His fingers touched warm skin and he found himself pulled into a tight hug, his nose inadvertently buried in Riku's hair. He breathed in smelling Strawberries and Apricots. It was what Riku's hair had smelled like all his life.

"Riku…"

"I'm as real as it gets Sora. And you're stuck with me because I'm never letting you go again."

Sora pulled back and saw Riku was dead serious.

"I don't care if I have to chain you to this bed," Riku growled, emphasizing his point by pinning Sora to the bed and kissing him. "I'm not letting you go. I love you."

"Riku…I love you so much but, what happened?"

"Later," Riku growled as he assaulted Sora's neck with his lips. "Much later."

Sora groaned and gave in. he could wait for an explanation. Riku was alive and well, and still loved him. Nothing else could go wrong right now.

"I was coming back to see you over the Destiny bridge. I was thinking about you. I didn't see the dog run out in front of me on the bridge. It had been hiding in the construction area. I swerved to avoid it and my car went over the edge. I knew I wouldn't survive with the windshield there. As soon as the car his the water, I got the gun that I had in the glove compartment and shot out the window. I swam to the island and saw about the accident on the TV down at Fred's. I knew you'd do something stupid, especially after you got that letter. I tried to call but you were already gone."

"Riku, I'm sorry. I put you through so much. I really thought…"

"I was coming back to see you after you had the letter. I was hoping we could work things out."

"Now we don't have to. We already did." Sora leaned up to press a soft kiss to his lovers lips. "I love you Riku," he said quietly.

"I love you too Sora. Stay with me forever?"

"Always," Sora replied as he snuggled closer to Riku's warmth. "I'll never leave you again."

Riku kissed Sora's hair and sighed, holding the smaller boy close to his chest.

"I love you," he whispered as they drifted off to sleep. "I love you, now and forever, Sora Kutani."

**  
**

**The End**

* * *

**Please be kind enough to leave a review. I would love it! **


End file.
